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CRISP offering support to broken hearts PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Eenadu   

Share your love with children! Let your divorce not hurt them!

"Your children and my children and fighting with our children", said a Western woman. Marriage, divorce, remarriage.. .such a lifestyle has become ingrained in Western culture. It is common in Western countries to get divorced for trivial reasons. Our culture is different.

If a couple separates after birth of children the court grants custody of the children to the mother alone. Chances of a father being able to be close to his children are slim no matter how hard he tries. Psychologists opine that children who grow away from one parent tend to have stunted emotional development, and are more likely to face many psychological problems. A voluntary organization has been fighting in the city to prevent such situations, and to ensure that children are able to enjoy the love and care of both parents even after their separation. This organization is Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting, CRISP for short.

His life is itself a lesson

Kumar Jahgirdar is a member of the National Stock Exchange. He had an arranged marriage. The couple was blessed with a daughter. His wife used to work for a travel agency which was involved in booking flight tickets for cricketers. Kumar Jahgirdar's wife fell in love with one such cricketer who used to come to the travel agency. She left her husband and married the cricketer. All this happened 12 years ago. "Your marriage is your business, but please leave the child to me", Kumar Jahgirdar pleaded with his wife. She refused. Kumar Jahgirdar's efforts to gain custody of his daughter did not yield any results in the family court, sessions court, district court and even the High Court. He finally got some relief in the Supreme Court, which ordered that the daughter should be with the father for two days of the week - Saturday and Sunday. In addition, the daughter would also be able able to spend half of all school vacation time with the father. However, Kumar Jargirdar claims that his daughter would like to be with him all the time. She is suffering because she is unable to defy her mother and the court orders. He said that it is this anguish which prompted him to start CRISP six months ago.

Divorce becoming fatal

It is normal for differences to arise between a newly married couple but these problems should not be escalated to make mountains out of mole hills. A recent survey conducted by several NGOs revealed the sad truth that among the educated software engineers, call center and BPO employees, two out of five marriages are breaking up. Children caught in the midst of a warring couple are becoming orphans in spite of having both parents. Kumar Jahgirdar started an organization to prevent others from suffering like him and to ensure a better future for today's children, and so far the organization has gathered 600 members in six months.

Victims are mostly men

Kumar Jahgirdar said that 90% of those who come to them for counseling and advise are men. He said that they invite wives who took their children and walked out on husbands, and explain to them the ill-effects that separation can have on the children. He said that they will help provide the right kind of counseling to reunite the couple. He also mentioned that many husbands are suffering because of wives foisting false dowry allegations and baseless complaints of domestic abuse. He said that couselors in the organization will strive to reunite couples by educating them about the ill-effects that separation may have on children, and if that fails, enable the couples to share the joys and responsibilities of parenting. He said they have succeeded in majority of the cases. He also said that they provide any help that may be needed to sort out cases in the court. He said that they are campaigning to spread awareness about the organization among people. He said the focus of such activities is to educate parents about how they must behave in the interest of their children.

Free counseling

Manoranjani Girish, one of the couselers, told news today that they work in collaboration with Save Indian Family, NCPR and other organizations interested in children's welfare. He said that it is impossible to set all things right in just one couseling session. He said it might take 10-15 sessions to arrive at a complete understanding and resolution of problems. He said that all help, assistance and counseling is given free of charge. More details of the organization can be obtained from www.crisp-india. org or by contacting the number 9845264488.


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