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If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family. ~Lawrence Housman

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Eight Year Custody Battle Ends With Handshakes and Some Good Questions PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Glenn Sacks   

This is an interesting case out of Canada and it puts a wrinkle into the PAS debate that I think needs attention (The Globe and Mail, 4/27/09).

It's a case I've written about before and that has been pretty high-profile in the Canadian press.  Basically, it involves a divorced couple with three sons, the oldest of whom is 18.  The parents fought so bitterly over the children with allegations of parental alienation on each side, that eventually the 18-year-old filed a motion to intervene in the case which requested that custody of his two younger brothers be awarded to him.

To my surprise, the court granted his motion, and lo and behold once it did, the parents started making nice with the boys and with each other.  I don't know if the young man realizes it or not, but from here it looks like his successful intervention scared his parents into some semblance of reasonable behavior.  My guess is that they realized that their eight-year legal donnybrook could have ended with both of them losers.  P.F., the 18-year-old, said, "My dad came up and shook my mom's hand.  That was something I hadn't seen in a very long time.  It was generally a very happy situation."

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Focus on Single Foster Care Parenting PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Marsha A. Temlock, M.A.   

There is no better time than Mother’s Day to consider single foster care parenting. In fact, May is National Foster Care Month. What better time to learn about foster care parenting and volunteering?

Nationally, more than half a million children are in foster care because of parental neglect, physical or emotional abuse. The number of children nationally receiving foster care services is on the rise. In 2007, data collected by the Casey Family Programs reported 783, 000 children in the U.S. needing some kind of child welfare assistance, and, if the trend continues, the projection is that by the year 2020, 10,5000,000 children will enter the system.

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A Kid's Guide to Divorce PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Richard Kingsley, MD   

Do you know someone whose parents are divorced? Are your parents divorced? Chances are that you can answer yes to one — or maybe both — of those questions. And you are not alone!

Read on to find out what divorce is and what you can do to help your family, your friends, or yourself when people get divorced.

What Is Divorce?

A divorce happens after a husband and wife decide they can't live together anymore and no longer want to be married. They agree to sign legal papers that make them each single again and allow them to marry other people if they want to.

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Raising Daughter as a Single Dad PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Parenting   

Challenge of raising a daughter as a single dad is a big one but not insurmountable. A man may have to become a single father because of separation and divorce; he may be a custodial parent or a widower. Anyway, while a strong and capable adult woman can be a good role model for her daughter as a mom, single fathers may need sensitivity, time, patience and some tips on how to bring up their daughter as a lone parent and ensure her overall personality development:

  • All dads, especially, single fathers tend to turn into a rescuer or an overprotective parent for their daughters. This might only lead to a rebel daughter or a daughter, who is totally dependent on you. So, allow her to take limited risks and gain confidence.
  • Communication style of men and women differ. Communicating with your daughter may require time, patience and willingness to hear. Most men have an approach where they just listen long enough to find out the problem and then the tendency to solve it themselves take over and they stop hearing the solutions being considered by their daughter. Daughters do not want you to fix their issues. They want you to listen and understand and help them in finding out their own solutions.
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Single Mothers are Destroying Society PDF Print E-mail
(2 Votes)
Written by Anonymous   
Children brought up without their fathers at home are far more likely
  • to live in poverty and deprivation
  • to have trouble in school
  • to have more trouble getting along with others
  • to have health problems
  • to suffer physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
  • to run away from home
  • to experience problems with sexual health
  • to become teenage parents
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Parent to Parent with Maureen Pearson PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Evening Chronicle   

WITH summer around the corner, a regular dilemma faced by parents is whether or not to allow older teens to go on holiday without them for the first time.

Teenagers may well want to go with friends or a boyfriend or girlfriend rather than with their family, but it’s not easy making this decision.

Tyneside-based national charity Parentline Plus, which operates a free, confidential 24-hour service, answers more than 100,000 calls and e-mails a year.

Maureen Pearson, the charity’s North East area manager, said: “It can bring mixed emotions, given that they want to break away from you, but you want them to be safe.

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Shared Parenting Plan (Example - Long) PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Dad4Life   

The following is an anonymous (names changed) example/sample of a shared parenting plan - for a child of separated or divorced parents - that was registered with the Family Court of Australia in 1997, and thus has the status of Family Court orders.  The plan has successfully guided the shared care, parenting and residency of a child for the past nine and a half years and the child is now thriving educationally, socially, etc.

This example is offered for information and as a guide for others who may be contemplating preparing their own parenting plan, particularly now with changes to the Family Law Act and the opening of the new Family Relationship Centres www.familyrelationships.gov.au.

Additionally, the plan can be readily adapted to form the basis of parenting orders submitted to and approved by a court (Family Court of Australia or Federal Magistrates Court www.familylawcourts.gov.au.

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Parenting Teenage Girls PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Prerna Salla   

What's perhaps even worse than the dangerous opportunities teen girls are at risk for is the fact that most of them will not talk to their parents about these dangers they face. No matter how good your communication is with your daughter, there are things she will not and cannot tell you, things she needs desperately to tell someone. The answer to this problem is being your daughter's best friend. One of the most rewarding relationships is when a mother steps forward to mentor her daughter's best friend.

Mothers and Daughters

Some mothers "cross-mentor" each other's daughters. Sometimes teenage girls wont like to discuss their problems with their mother or father. In such circumstances it is best to provide them with a mentor. You must point your daughter toward a trustworthy role model - an aunt, a cousin, a grandmother, a teacher, a friend, or some other responsible caring woman. The most important thing a mentor can do is to listen and to lead by example. She isn't there to judge, punish or condemn. And as crucial as her role becomes, it is a temporary one - a mentor will never replace a mother.

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Single Mother Homes PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Anonymous   
  • 37.8% of single mothers are divorced, 41% never married, and only 6.5% widows. Brookings Institute, "Assessing the Impact of Welfare Reform on Single Mothers", Part 2, 3/22/04
  • "The strongest predictor of whether a person will end up in prison, is that they were raised by a single parent". C.C. Harper and  S.S. McLanahan, "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration", Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Assoc., San Francisco, CA, 1998
  • In 1996, 70% of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long sentences, were raised by single mothers. Wade Horn, "Why There Is No Substitute For Parents", IMPRIMIS 26, NO.6, June, 1997
  • 72% of juvenile murderers, and 60% of rapists came from single mother homes. Chuck Colson, "How Shall We Live?" Tyndale House , 2004, p.323
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The PAS: Is It Scientific? PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Stephanie J. Dallam, RN, MSN, FNP   

In E. St. Charles & L. Crook (Eds.), Expose: The failure of family courts to protect children from abuse in custody disputes . Los Gatos , CA : Our Children Our Children Charitable Foundation.

All rights are reserved by the author. Up to 8 copies of this can be copied and distributed without expressed permission of the author, provided that the paper is distributed in its entirety.

INTRODUCTION

The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a controversial theory which has had a profound influence on how child custody cases are handled by the legal system. PAS is based on the assumption that if a child rejects their father, the most likely cause of the alienation is the mother. Treatment involves separating the child from their mother, and punishing them both until the child cooperates with visitation. Richard A. Gardner, M.D., a clinical professor of child psychiatry at the College of Physicians and Surgeons at Columbia University , is the founder and main proponent of this theory.

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Parental Alienation Syndrome — The Parent/Child Disconnect PDF Print E-mail
(0 Votes)
Written by Amy J. L. Baker, PhD   

Divorce and separation can breed bad blood between parents and children when one partner uses the children to target the other partner.

Among the many areas of concern for social workers working with divorced or separated couples with children are two related problems: parental alienation, or the efforts on the part of one parent to turn a child against the other parent, and parental alienation syndrome, or a child’s unwarranted rejection of one parent in response to the attitudes and actions of the other parent. Social workers may encounter these problems in a number of settings, such as family service agencies, schools, and family court, as well as in private practice working with high-conflict divorcing couples, parents who believe that the other parent has or will turn the children against them, alienated children refusing to see a parent, adults who are still alienated from a parent, or elders who have “lost” their children to parental alienation.

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